Day 43 - October 23

Day 43 - October 23rd
memory faded
Write the transcription
Drinks with my group after a tour
Met a homeless guy and he gave me an orange
Spot at MIB and then xanax
FUCK

        Around this time I'd been doing a lot of drinking to the point of blackout, and I thought it would be funny to record myself talking into my phone while drunk and then transcribe the recording later. I thought maybe those blanks in my memory contained some hidden genius, as if my drunken brilliance had somehow forced the brain to malfunction, leaving behind missing patches like the momentary spots of dead vision that come from looking directly into the sun. Basically this was my last, desperate attempt to write stuff without having to do any work.
        I'd only taken a quarter bar of Xanax on this night, but it was still relaxing enough to make me drop an entire pint of cider on the floor of Bar Open where I was drinking – I remember having the glass in my hand, and the next second feeling it slip away and down onto the floor. I grabbed my bag and made for the exit as soon as the I felt the liquid splash onto my shoes. It was late, and my night was definitely finished.
        I started recording somewhere along Brunswick St – I don't have the recording, or transcription (which I did make eventually) – but for some reason I remember everything. I guess maybe the time spent transcribing the recording must have burned those meaningless events into my memory alongside Pythagoras' Theorem and the one phrase I know in Japanese. (“Boku wa ottokonoko ga daisuki desu yo.” – “I like little boys.”)
        At some point on my way home I started walking and chatting to a dishevelled stranger, who was, of course, out walking his dog at 2 in the morning. We talked about whatever, and he gave me an orange, which I put in my pocket.
        I'm almost certain I ate that orange in the morning. I don't have a memory of it, but if I look inside myself, it feels like something I would have done, a logical way to end the story. To throw it in the bin would have been callous and ungrateful. Also I found no trace of it in my room when I woke up, just half a Maxibon melting in a pint glass next to my laptop.

Click here to read the next part - Day 44 - October 30th