Day 20 - May 11th

Day 20 - May 11th
Back on par
Sleepwalking in the hotel room
This drinking thing is proving just as difficult as previously acknowledged
Defer uni & get a full time job?
Need to get to Melbourne next Autumn

        I just want to stop for a second and admire the handwriting on this card, it's gorgeous, no? Especially on the left, the phrase “This drinking thing is proving just as difficult as previously acknowledged.” The letters are so small and uniform. I remember these cards being very difficult to write on with a ball point pen, but I knew that if I used felt tip the words would rub off as soon as I slotted the cards back in the deck. The surface is kind of bumpy, it's like a grid of tiny little squares exactly as big as the ball on the point of the pen, and therefore perfect for it to get stuck in. I recall feeling like I had to 'take a run up' whenever I started writing a new sentence, to quite literally get the ball rolling, otherwise my pressure would just dent the surface of the card, rendering that spot impossible to write on.
        I just hope you're as impressed as I am, even if the phrase itself makes hardly any sense whatsoever. And so ugly! “...just as difficult as previously acknowledged.” – YUCK!

        I'd been trying to get a job in Adelaide since I got back from Bolivia – I didn't want to work in nightclubs any more, and quite fancied the idea of a cafe. I managed to land an interview at a place called Cibo where Phil had worked for a few years, but I think what fucked it up for me was the blonde fringe I was rocking. I pushed that boulder up the hill of public opinion for months, trying to convince everyone that it was great and that I was a genius, but I feel like when I sat down to try and sell myself to the manager of Cibo, that fringe was a bright orange warning sign.
        “DANGER! DANGER!! FUCKHEAD ALERT – EMPLOY AT OWN RISK!”
        Aside from removing the offending hair from my head, I thought moving to Melbourne might give me the fresh start I needed. Phil and I had gone to a music festival over New Years 2010/11 with a similar crew to the one that went to the Clare Valley. After the festival, we drove to Melbourne and spent the first week of the new year there, and I'd loved it. I remembered leafy green streets, graffiti and cool bars. I'd made about two thousand dollars selling pills at the music festival, in what remains my only successful foray into the exciting, dynamic world of drug dealing. I spent most of that money in Melbourne, which was probably part of the reason I'd had such a good time there, but NEVERTHELESS!
        I made a pact with myself during that week that I'd move to Melbourne one day, and in May 2012 it seemed like the only plan I had left. It was the same logic I'd used to justify breaking up with Mélanie: if not now, then when? And if definitely, at some point – then why not now?

Click here to read the next part - Day 21 - May 18th