Day 25 - June 14

Day 25 - June 14th
First booked comedy gig at Rhino Room... did ok
Flick rocked up spontaneously so of course I decided to drink
And of course me and flick hooked up... god damn

        Callan was a very good friend of mine.
        We met at Red Square and originally bonded over our love for late nights and messy dancing, but our friendship was also more than that, and there was a period of six months or so in 2011 when we were hanging out almost constantly. He was loud and funny, and always seemed to be at the centre of something exciting without having to try – one year on his birthday he danced around town all weekend telling people that he was going to have a party at his after the clubs shut on Sunday. He'd not planned anything, he just started telling people, jumping into conversations and screaming, “IT'S MY BIRTHDAY DUDE!!”
        That Sunday there was a party back at Callan's place, it was one of the best parties I'd ever been to at that point. 40-50 drug crazed kids, crammed into the backyard of a tiny 3-bedroom townhouse in Wayville. I felt like I knew and loved all of them.
        I have an image in my head of the moment I emerged from the kitchen after losing my bearings in an acid spiral for an hour or so. The late-afternoon sun flared into my eyes as I re-entered the world, people were smilling and laughing and shouting and drinking, and our mate Jake was playing the song 'Strobe' by Deadmau5 on the decks. I remember being so happy that day, thinking that I had everything in my life anyone could ever need – Callan did that.

        Callan also started dating my friend Flick around the start of 2011.
        Flick worked with me at Red Square, and we'd lived together for six months in 2010 in some house that was due to be demolished – we bonded over trashing spray-painting the walls and hating our other housemate. I'd always had a thing for her, but didn't have the balls to admit it, even to myself. Callan did have the balls – he asked her out point-blank, and hung out at the bar when it was just her working so he could spend more time with her. He even asked me at one point if I was cool with him pursuing her, I guess he sensed there was something going on with me. Rather than take the opportunity to check myself and think that actually maybe I did have a thing for her, I played it cool, and said everything was fine.

        After they started dating I saw a lot less of Callan, I hardly saw him at all, actually. He retreated into the relationship, and none of his friends ever heard from him. I still saw Flick occasionally – we'd meet up on some ill-advised whim every few months and get messy in some stupid situation – hallucinogenics on a hill during the Adelaide Fringe, stealing her Mum's car to go take pills and drink goon at night on the beach, etc. etc. etc.
        The night that this card is referring to was my first ever booked stand-up set. I'd been doing a few open mics at Rhino Room in Adelaide, and then Michael Bowley, the guy who ran those nights, messaged me to say that they wanted me to come down and do five minutes on a Thursday there.
        That night Flick called me, her and Callan had had a fight. She was full of Screw Him's and 'He's-a-loser' energy, and she wanted to get drunk, so I told her where I was and she was there to meet me within the hour. When we woke up in my bed together the next morning she was anxious, she knew she'd made a mistake – I didn't think it was so bad, I wanted to keep spending time together. I didn't want her to go back.
        I heard his voice on the phone when she called him:
        “I just went out.... yeah... yeah I stayed over at Old Mate Taco's House.”
        “Really..... Old Mate Taco's House.” He was tinny and quiet on the phone, but even with the speaker pressed up against her ear, I could hear everything.

        I still think about Callan a lot – he and Flick stayed together for a few years after that night, but I never saw either of them again. I got a flurry of drunken messages from Flick one night about six months after this one, saying something like, “Taco! Don't lie!!!. Don't ruin life!!”
        She was a committed liar – I'm guessing he'd come out with his suspicions and she'd had to commit to some half version of the truth to save herself – this is just a guess, obviously I don't know, but I'm going on what I know of the two of them.
        I have the idea that one day I might bump into Callan on some off chance, and he might face up to me with the same straight-forwardness that he had when he asked Flick out. In my fantasy, he says something along the lines of, “You worthless piece of garbage,” and then punches me square in the face. And then it's done.
        It's pretty selfish of me to want that, but I can't keep lying about these things forever, can I?

Click here to read the next part - Day 26 - June 29th